I saw you today

I saw you today

I saw you today
It took me a monument
to realize it was you

Fresh as
If it was my first hello
Smooth
As water on a slip’n slide

I was back there
The days of
Simplicity and quiet gazes

No questions
No answers, either

My knee jerk reaction
Wanted to know you again
My past told me I already did.

I’m enamored
by your ability to hold me
Without ever reaching out

Yet;
Saddened by your ability
to set fire to a room
You never intended
To be in

You never owned your
Dysfunction,
you collected glitter
and wore it as
your charmed life,
rolled though me
Like a hurricane party
on nitro

You know
One day
You would be
Standing
In the place, that space
Only you would fill
Only you could fill

That day came
It was here
Before us
Playing out
Like it did
In my mind

No disappointment
No resentment
Oddly
It was joy

I saw you today,

No questions
No answers, either

My knee jerk reaction
Wanted to know you again
My past told me I already did.

I saw you, today.

[ – finn Perkins 2/18/2020]

Situational empathy

How do say I understand?,

I lived a privilege life

Born of an unknown woman

Raised Another, of Jewish Faith

and a passive Protestant  father

Given much

Yet the feeling of emptiness

and loss is prevalent

and knowing that lived

on borrowed time,

Left me with survivors guilt

and sarcasm scribbled in bits n bytes

viewed by thirty thousand minds

Whose thoughts were in-kind

Nothing vague left

between the lines

The words in times

They will be found

And once read

Will open the mind

To know

I as well as you

Have lived a life

Of similarity

Just in different Hues

Varied expectations

Dreams short of breathe

Overwhelming Reality

Ever looming questions

Of why, and if

Purpose and contentment

Will ever agree enough

To leave me at peace

With

Not being more

Proactive toward

The injustice

All because

It’s hard for

You to think

I can not understand

As I am not you

I am me

Endlessly

mis-understood

Most of all

Human

How do say I understand

I lived a privilege life

Born of an unknown mother

Raised by a Jewish Mother

Abandoned by a passive-emotion void father

Replace by excess

Yet the feeling of emptiness

and loss prevalent

and knowing that

living on borrowed time,

Left me with survivors guilt

and sarcasm scribbled in bits n bytes

viewed by thirty thousand minds

Whose thoughts were in-kind

Nothing vague left

between the lines

The words in times

They will be found

And once read

Will open the mind

To know

I as well as you

Have lived a life

Of similarity

Just in different Hues

Varied expectations

Dreams short of breathe

Overwhelming Reality

Ever looming questions

Of why, and if

Purpose and contentment

Will ever agree enough

To leave me at peace

With

Not being more

Proactive toward

The injustice

All because

It’s hard for

You to think

I can not understand

As I am not you

I am me

Endlessly

mis-understood

Most of all

Human

[finnperkins 15 Jan 2019]

Share this:

  • Share

[finnperkins 15 Jan 2019]

Another day I did not use algebra

….because,

some words, are harmful.
some words, are peaceful
some words, are unheard

these word must be read.

somedays are longer that others. the length of time is relative only to the minds in ability the release the unattainable love we seek.

we are awashed in stories,

tell us words that seek

….approval, not by a long shot.

somewhere in our human existence we equate approval with love.

the very definition of the word only leaves a yes or no outcome. no algebra needed.

just a clear bright sky to be there when the soul decides to offer up the ever elusive reasons for why it held out so long.

the x equals A. the y equals B and the total sums equals u

-finnperkins 2015.may.21

Sitting in the front seat, yet, Worlds apart

I can own my words
Own my world
Move about in yours
Live daily
One thought
At a time

You can accept my words
Live in my world
You Move about
As if
You truly knew me
One daily thought at a time
Just enough
Just getting by

I can own my words
Own my world
Move about in yours
Live daily
One thought
At a time

No more yesterday’s
Will I throw away
No more
Because
I Can’t own my words
Can’t live in my world
…. Knowing you can’t own yours
Your words
Your world
No more time
Can I waste

I’ll be fine
Don’t spend the dime
Unless you can
Own your words

To be continued

Town

How did I get here
What precipitated this reality
Can
I see it
Feel it
Touch it
Will I recognize it
Would I understand it

What was it
That got me this far
Only to fall
To trip
Throw out
My conscience
Living against the wind
Standing still
As the tide rolls in

I will not chase it
I cannot embrace it
Would I leave it
Now that it’s here before me

Left
still
Unanswered
And alone
Walk Till the moonlight fades
into daylight

Left in
Darkness
Awakened by the known
who stands before me

This town
My town
Changed me, yes it has

Breathe in
Breathe out
Live
Embrace
Accept the given
Nurture the known

How Did i get here
Is it because
I’ve grown
Into it
Or it grown into me
This town I call home

reposted – Insanity on steroids [finn perkins 07.07.2006] (11.14.2009)

Insanity on steroids [finn perkins 7.07.2006]

tree

http://wp.me/pgUYr-YI

Obstacles

There are days
when I can see clear, far and everything fits in side this simple bag. When I question why the items on my list are not conforming to the items that you say equals bliss.

I realize how much I am everything but nothing that will save you from yourself, given everything you think you deserve.

I will leave you with the thought of what you think is enough to get you by, only to find out I’m the everything that your looking for.

Too bad you closed that door.

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: