48

why do I remember all of you
I remember all of the reasons why I left
and the reasons why sometimes I stayed

I see a glimpse of might have berms and a lifetime of maybes
I do not care for the outcome or the shortcomings
No one to blame
Both of us knew within minutes
Whether to remain or move on

Keep inside the words that speak volumes
And hide behind a volume of lifetimes of what might have been

Stop and look inside
The answer you seek
Is not the answer you want
It’s the answer you need

why do I remember all of you
I remember all of the reasons why I left
and the reasons why sometimes I stayed

I see a glimpse of might have been and a lifetime of maybes
I do not care for the outcome or the shortcomings

No one to blame
Both of us knew within minutes
Whether to remain or move on

Only ones of us did

Smiling in fear ….

I am not looking
If I were , I’m not seeking perfect
I would embrace what comes my way.
I would like to think your actions
Were based on clear intentions verses, instant gratification , and my close proximity.

I’ve spent a lifetime being misunderstood. I’ve also spent equal energies to understand and define what it is in me that allows me without pause to tell a stranger I am in-discord with them/ their interaction; yet I am mute in my quest to be valid in my personal relationships.

I can take rejection. I am mostly in-fear of loss.

.., to be continued

Sanity

If I said I can’t get you out of my head Can’t seem to sleep in my own bed

If I said I can’t seem to get beyond the subtle movements of your sway, which I do not  see everyday

Would know it if you felt it?
Feel it with your mind
The way I feel it in my heart
Would know it to be your truth?
Should you ignore the rules of your youth

I’m not saying you are the one
I’m not saying I am the one
I’m not saying yes or no

I am the one who feels like you
I am the one who feels it with or without you
I am  the one who voids my thoughts
Your friendship at this point, well it resembles livable sanity

May, I ask you..
Would know it if you felt it?
Feel it with your mind
The way I feel it in my heart
Would know it to be your truth?
Could you ?

 

 

Collard greens and turkey wings ….

I see you
Even
When the miles
Defy
Such a notion

I know you less than your best friend,
Yet I hurt equally

Years of distance from our first meeting to our most recent interaction, which in it’s self
Stands as recent as today

20 plus zip codes between your
Address and mine, will not, can not
Reduce how many times
You cross my mind , stay on my mind.

Charismatic, Witt and happy hour charm,

is just surface …

I met you when I needed too.
Collard greens and turkey wings ….

Sitting in the front seat, yet, Worlds apart

I can own my words
Own my world
Move about in yours
Live daily
One thought
At a time

You can accept my words
Live in my world
You Move about
As if
You truly knew me
One daily thought at a time
Just enough
Just getting by

I can own my words
Own my world
Move about in yours
Live daily
One thought
At a time

No more yesterday’s
Will I throw away
No more
Because
I Can’t own my words
Can’t live in my world
…. Knowing you can’t own yours
Your words
Your world
No more time
Can I waste

I’ll be fine
Don’t spend the dime
Unless you can
Own your words

To be continued

Step up

Looking
Not really
Same thing
Different day

Saw you
A vision
Of imperfection
Looking for
sincere affection

Feel your groove
Steady
not contrived

I knew the from
the first words

Stay was all I heard

Hopes start
with a word in a book
Dreams grow from
memories read

Everything comes
Together
Like threading a needle

All come together
Come
Heaven or hell

Step up
Step out
Hold on
Hold tight
It’s your’s

All come together
Come
Heaven or hell

Let it be heaven
Let it begin
Healing
And holding
Step up
Step out
Hold on
Hold tight
It’s your’s

All come together
Come
Heaven or hell

Unexpected ties

I hear you
Through the storms
Of life’s
Ever changing
And like the tides
I’ll roll in and out til the day you grab
On and hold on tight
I’ll take you from
The empty promises
Where laughter is all
You hear
When the morning comes
Like lighting trough the clouds
I’ll be there
I’ll be there

I said to you
What your doing today
Is what you’ll be be doing all year long
Was I right
Was I wrong
Only you can say

Just sing
Sing and play my favorite
Song
With words
Are real
So please sing that song
Everything is alright
Everything is alright

Just when I though I couldn’t move on
I’ll i have hear , is that sweet sweet song

I hear you
Through the storms
Of life’s
Ever changing
And like the tides
I’ll roll in and out til the day you grab
On and hold on tight
I’ll take you from
The empty promises
Where laughter is all
You hear
When the morning comes
Like lighting trough the clouds
I’ll be there
I’ll be there

Under the same sky

Friday was just a Friday
Then along came you
Then Friday became my everyday

Everyday was Friday
When you were in my realm
Everything was possible
Then along came the real you
Then everyday became my Monday

One Sunday
One day
You will slow down
And realize
How much
Your everyday
Is as empty as my
Monday

stand tall

Why is it the “Takers” feel they’ve found the perfect solution to a better life, … by embracing the concept of forgiving and letting go of resentments ”

I wish I could be as amazed by such a revelation. The hardest thing about my own day to day existence, is the conflict in my heart. I am a leader, not a follower, I am a giver, not a taker. I hardly ask for help, unless it’s calling TripleA for a tow.

To watch a runaway train bound for derailment, is in my mind is insanity. Staying on that train in my heart equals the death of my spirit, just short of smothering my soul.

I wish I could forgive easily, my life would be so much more open to new possibilities. I did let go of a lot of things, I wish resentment was one of the intangibles that could subside to a quiet, to return to me peace. So until I can do this on my own terms, on my own time, to let you off the hook, I pray for the grace I need to walk tall within my words, my world with out that friendship.

Not predictable, just real

Something bout everything about you
that seems so real. And yet so unreal about the way you seem take away the reality that takes me there when the coming and going is everything short of getting there a point one been making yet nothing seem as to say it right, say it quite like being ing the same place even when your here your not actually there

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